


He's Not Mad at You

by BouncyOrb



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22455358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BouncyOrb/pseuds/BouncyOrb
Summary: Church tries to find a quiet moment to himself.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	He's Not Mad at You

Blood Gulch was quiet today, and Church couldn’t be happier. Sitting up on the cliffs and relaxing with his helmet off was an all inclusive vacation as far as he was concerned. He looked over the canyon, reminiscing with himself over everything that’s happened here. Maybe not all good memories, but funny ones at least. In hindsight. He leaned back against the rocks and sighed.

“Finally get to just relax.” Church said to himself.

“Yeah, it’s nice up here isn’t it?”

“WHOA FUCK!” Church shot up to his feet. “Caboose?”

“Hello!” Caboose answered cheerfully.

“What are you doing up here? And how did you get here so quietly?”

“Oh I like to come here to think.”

Church debated with himself over kicking Caboose out. But he probably wasn’t gonna leave him alone anyway. He sat back down, trying to relax again.

“Are you thinking too Church?”

“I try not to.” he said, eyes closed.

“Yeah I get that. I usually save all my thinking for when I get up here.”

“Not surprising.”

Caboose went and sat next to Church. Church shifted his posture, trying to move away from Caboose. He didn’t like being that close to anybody.

“You get mad a lot, Church.”

“Good observation.”

“When I start feeling mad, I think of all the stuff that makes me happy instead. Like ice cream, or a puppy. Oh, or a different puppy.”

Church didn’t respond.

“What… makes you happy, Church?”

“Peace and quiet.” Church answered curtly. It might have come out meaner than he meant but he didn’t want to bother to correct himself.

Caboose scooted away from Church a few inches. He curled his legs up to his chest and he was quiet for a little while. Church kept his eyes closed but he wasn’t asleep, just quiet.

“Do I make you mad, Church?” Caboose asked. He was scared to ask that, he didn’t want Church to say yes.

Church sat up and took a deep breath.

“No, Caboose. You don’t… you don’t make me mad.” He spoke a little slower than usual, he thought it made him sound more sincere.

“Then why are you always mad when I’m around?” He didn’t want to ask that either.

“Caboose, I’m not…” Church tried to think of a way to say this that Caboose would understand. “Okay Caboose, here’s how it is.”

Caboose scooted right up next to Church to listen.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at everything.”

“But… am I not part of everything?”

“Nope. You see, when someone is mad at everything, they’re really not mad at anything in particular.”

Caboose didn’t say anything.

“It’s like… like the sun.” Church said, hoping he would find the point somewhere along the way. “The sun isn’t hot at you, it’s hot to everything. So the sun being hot to you isn’t… on purpose.”

“Ohh!’ Caboose finally spoke up. “So when you’re mad and angry and mean and-”

“Yeah okay we get it.”

“Just like that! You aren’t mean to me, you’re just a mean person!”

“Well that’s not really what I was try-”

“Oh it all makes so much sense now!” Caboose shouted. “You are not mean to me! You are just mean!”

Church couldn’t help but laugh at himself a little here. He’d never heard anybody insult him with so much joy. Caboose started laughing with him. They leaned into each other, their laughter filling the entire canyon.

“Y’know,” Church said, still laughing through his words, “you’re one of the things that makes me happy.”

“Well, obviously.” Caboose said. “I mean, we are best friends.”

“Yeah.” Church said, leaning back and closing his eyes. “Yeah we are.”


End file.
